I have an obsession for looking at things differently. I want to understand things not only from my point of view, but from every view possible. I guess, this is the major reason why I am a writer – or perhaps this desire to take things apart and understand them is what gave birth to my desire to write and capture what I see. Not only do I write what is seen through my eyes, but I also try to understand – why? I try to see, smell, taste, and touch – with empathy.
Strangely enough, I do believe I have always been this way. I have never just wanted to know that something is – I wanted to know why, and what would happen if it wasn’t? When I looked at someone, I didn’t just see their face – but I wondered, how are they feeling? What things have they gone through to get to this point? What makes them happy or sad? When I see a bee fly, I don’t just look and go on my way. Instead, I find myself watching its rhythm and movements. I almost want to paint each movement in my memory and then someday perhaps, I will paint an image of what I have seen, or better yet write a poem – trailing the looping and swooping movements of the bee flitting from flower to flower.
I truly do not know if anyone else does this, nor if they see what I see – but I am fascinated by most things I come across. It is not like the desire of a scientist to study something, to measure, to calculate – but, in some ways it is. I hope to understand the world and myself a little better and I never seem to tire in that quest.
For this reason, I think I am propelled to write, and just as I am obsessed with looking at things differently – I am also obsessed with writing. It is my passion. It took me a long time to realize that, but it is definitely true. Anymore, I cannot think about letting several days pass without writing something down – and often when I finally do, I cannot stop until I get it all out. It is a mishmash of all the things I have witnessed, or pondered, or imagined. It calms me in some strange way.
In a similar way, I am obsessed with taking photographs – snippets of moments expressed in an image. I see a lot of crossover in both my writing, art, and photography. The desire comes from the same places – the desire to see things . . . differently and to express what I see or feel in different ways. I know I drive my husband crazy sometimes (the kids are busy taking their own pictures to notice) but I have this ache that propels me to take out the camera often. This burst of feeling “that is amazing” and needing to hold that moment, not only for myself – but to share with others.
These are the things I enjoy; the things I love, and yes – I am obsessed. I have (along the way) learned that I don’t necessarily need to do them all the time. Instead – I need to do them when I can (and there will be times when I cannot) because it makes life more fulfilling for me. Until I am able to create something, I hold on to the memories of moments – even from long ago. I remember the sounds, the smells, the tastes, and even the feelings I felt at the time they happened. When I get a chance – I write.
To me, having something you are crazy about is one key to my happiness. It is what I look forward to after struggling through my busier days. When I am down, it is what I use to pick me up. I find there is a lot of benefit. With that being said, I’d love to know – what is your obsession? How did you get started? What thing do you do that adds a little more beauty to your day? Truly – I would like to know, so feel free to leave your story in the comments.
This was written for The Daily Post Prompt: Obsessed.
~ Sumyanna 2016
Here are some other wonderful posts written for the prompt: