Letters For My Children #4: Strength Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Being Rough

myguy

 
Okay little guy, you’re almost six and I definitely hate to think that some day you will be much taller than me, but I guess growth cannot be stopped 🙂  Today is your day, for this post is all about you.  You have been on my mind a lot lately – you are growing so horribly fast.  Please, stop!  All kidding aside – I am glad to watch you grow, to see you rush to learn as much as you can.  You, my son, are an inspiration!

 

The funny thing is – I was always worried about having a boy.  I don’t exactly know why – as I did have two brothers, but it worried me – not being well versed in the ways of boys.  I found it so much easier to keep girls entertained.  They love art, cooking, poetry.  So I knew it would be easy to build a relationship.  So yes, I worried – but when I finally was told I was having a boy, I could not wait to hold you in my arms!

 

Even before you were born, I talked to you every single day.  I wondered what adventures we would have together.  You were a mystery waiting to unfold and I could not wait to finally meet you.  What would you be like?  What would you desire to become?  What would the journey look like on the path to your dreams?

 

I still remember the day you were born – the moment I heard your fist cry.  When your sisters were born, they all cried out as if in pain and longing.  They cried and it just broke your heart.  For some strange reason, your cry was different.  Your cry sounded more demanding, more like you were saying “take care of me now!”  I remember saying to the nurses how different a boy cries than a girl.  Of course, they looked at me as if I was crazy – but I heard it in your voice – strength.

 

The funny thing is – as I watch you grow, I realize you are not strong the way most people demand of a boy.  That was my biggest worry.  You are not strong in the fact that you don’t cry – but you cry when you care deeply about something.  You are not strong by bullying people around, but you are strong in your passion for others.  You hate when anyone is sad or harmed.  You hate when there is injustice, and truthfully I think you would help anyone if there were struggling if you could.

 

I remember when you saw a lady crying at the nursing home and you heard someone hurt her feelings.  You got angry and wanted to march over and tell them that they weren’t very nice.  You were only four, but you knew that other peoples’ feelings mattered.  You gave her a hug and held her hand until she forgot she was sad.

 

My strong little guy, it makes me smile to think of it and you have made a friend for life.  So yes – many people see strength in such a sad way, especially for boys.  They honor strength in such a sad way.  Even if they say they do not – their actions and words prove otherwise.  Often, the bully is seen as being strong.  There are those who go around willingly tearing people apart and they don’t worry that their words or actions harm others.  Few speak out and many cheer.  It is sad.  This is not strength.

 

In my mind, to find yourself superior to people who are below you is weakness.  To feel the need to point out other peoples’ flaws, call them names, point fingers, and degrade others shows a weakness of oneself.  If you are comfortable in your own skin – you have no need to have such power over others.  Other people deserve the same respect as we wish ourselves.  And in the end, no matter how it “seems” that people like this have everything and are deserving of praise – no true success can come to anyone who treats people this way.

 

To me, they act this way because they are lacking something.  It makes no difference whether it is on the playground or later in life, whether people stand by them or not, bullying is just wrong.  Fortunately, you have taught me that boys can still be strong and loving at the same time.  They can be careful how they speak, they can hold concern for others in their hearts, and they can be passionate about what they love – and still be strong.

 

I don’t know if you will ever believe me – but you have been one of my greatest teachers, little man.  You have shown me you can never be too young to stand up for what is right.  You have taught me how much of a blessing it can be to have a son.  It is not to say that having girls is not a blessing – but let’s face it, they each hold their own unique beauty.  I know you would say “handsome” but it just doesn’t work for that sentence – so sorry!

 

If there are any words of advice – it would be to continue being who you are.  Continue to strive to learn and grow.  Do not be afraid of what you do not know and definitely remain unafraid of standing for what you believe in.  You have a long journey ahead of you – and I do hope I can help you learn to remain strong and continue to believe in yourself, no matter the obstacles.  You are truly a shining light in my life and I am grateful for your presence.  You have taught me and you continue to teach me the beauty of your ways.  Ha!  Got you again handsome 🙂

 

You are a gift and I celebrate you every single day, and nothing’s going to stop me.

~ Mama

(c) Sumyanna 2016

Advertisements

22 Comments Add yours

  1. 7128788elf says:

    Reblogged this on charles1958 and commented:
    This is a wonderful letter, and I think we can all learn from it, and visit her blog to read many other really fine and meaningful pieces.

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you so much for sharing – I truly appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 7128788elf says:

        Pleasure, it seems 11 people liked it, and hopefully some of them have looked at some of your other writings and started to follow you; you deserve it .

        Like

        1. Sumyanna says:

          Thanks again. I truly appreciate your kindness.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. 7128788elf says:

    Hi Sumyanna, what a wonderful letter, and a great piece of writing. What a great little fellow he sounds, and what a lucky fellow who has a mother who cares enough to write him such a letter. I had missed the other letters to your children, but am so moved by this one that I will read the others as well. I’m sure this letter should be read by many people, the message is so necessary in our rather uncaring world and society. Therefore I have decided to re-blog and share it. Best wishes and blessings, Charles.

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      I started writing these for another platform and saved them on my computer. I figured I would share them from time to time as I am trying to take small snapshots of my children as well as what I am thinking as they are growing – hoping they will cherish them as they grow older. I have shared only two here before and just felt the moment was right to share this one, so I skipped a few letters. So much for following rules! I am so glad that you enjoyed it. I do feel it is important at this point in time where our world is seemingly being turned upside down by values I do not understand nor agree with. It is just me. I was raised for some time under the watchful eye of my grandmother who shared her values with me. Call it old-fashioned, but in my mind I feel we need more of it today. It is not only the effects on us and others, but sadly I cannot help but feel bad for those who were raised differently. There is more we can get out of life than just what we pile up – and our impact on others can be so much more than we realize.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 7128788elf says:

        I will try and read the other 2, but time is always a problem. I would say that I am also rather old fashioned in my ideas, and seem to have built up a whole philosophy and spirituality of life, that seems rather similar to yours. I am appalled that out here people lives are looked at only from a point of view of economic wealth, rather than what one has done to improve ones self and those around you, and for the environment in which one lives.

        Like

        1. Sumyanna says:

          Truthfully, you are under absolutely no obligation 🙂 I know everyone is busy so I know time is an issue. My blog is mostly for me to enjoy – putting my thoughts out there and having a voice. It brings me peace somehow, thinking that perhaps my words will help someone or perhaps strike a thought or a feeling.

          I completely agree with your thoughts on people who only think of wealth as a virtue. Sadly though, what they have forgotten is that wealth only has value when you use it for a good purpose. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life, having nice things – but to have wealth only to desire more, help no one, and be willing to take it from others just so you can say you “won the game” is not something I look up to.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. 7128788elf says:

            I would like to read them them, and will get round to them one day, I think people can learn a lot from your blog, and am always extremely happy to have found your blog.
            Out here many rich people do share their wealth, but it seem often only to buy tax reductions, which is not the right way to give and to share at all. I have long since turned my back on this world that seems so shallow.

            Like

          2. Sumyanna says:

            I know exactly what you mean about sharing the wealth for tax deductions. I think, in our hearts, we know what true giving really means. We can only do our best and hope everyone else will do the same, I guess. I understand your feelings about the world. It can be tough, and sometimes it seems like all our experiences point us in that direction. However, no matter how hard it may be – we must hold on to hope. I have met people that have made incredible differences in my life, I have seem amazing sights in nature, I have known the kindness of others – so I cannot give up. I think if you really stretch yourself you will also find reasons for hope – just start with the kindness your mother shared with you and how much she struggled for you. I know – you could say, “but that’s what mothers are supposed to do.” Focus on the word supposed – and just know that not everyone is as lucky. It is a blessing that she was there for you and I am sure in our own ways, we struggle to be that blessing to others. I think that this is what we are supposed to get out of it – what are we going to give back? We truly underestimate the difference we can make in other people’s lives.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. 7128788elf says:

            I feel the individual can play a far greater part in society than we believe, and if enough people believed this then individuals could greatly change the world into a more spiritually based peace loving society, that worked with nature, to help save our planet. Wouldn’t that be great!
            I think actually that here are many wonderful things that happen in the world every day, but we tend only to hear about the bad things, as the media believes that this is what people want and what sells their product. I follow various organisations, as they tell some of these wonderful stories, maybe I must do more to try and spread these stories. Best wishes and blessings, Charles.

            Like

          4. Sumyanna says:

            I agree. I think that anything we can do to improve things would be a step in the right direction. Please do share!

            Liked by 1 person

          5. 7128788elf says:

            I often find them on Facebook, and Pinterest , and do not know how to get them onto my WordPress page, otherwise would share more.Have a great weekend. Charles.

            Liked by 1 person

          6. Sumyanna says:

            That is definitely something I don’t know about – but it is good to know there is good news circulating somewhere. We need it! Enjoy your weekend as well.

            Liked by 1 person

          7. 7128788elf says:

            Well I will try and experiment, I am not very good at this computer stuff, as computer only came into general use after I had left university. In fact, in my youth we did not even have TV, it only start out hour in 1977! and I take that as a blessing in disguise. I often think that all this new media that could be so helpful in communication is not, I often go to coffee house, and see young people meet up for coffee, and spend the entire time on their cell phone/laptop or tablet, hardly even sharing a word between them. Not even a kiss, where has romance gone?

            Like

          8. Sumyanna says:

            I know – we were one of the first families to have a personal computer – only because my dad was a programmer. Those where the days – much fewer distractions. However, there is a lot of good that can come from it as well. Everything needs balance. Yes, I know exactly what you mean about people not connecting with the people around them while struggling to stay constantly connected. It is sad to see. I hope that at some point the world learns balance.

            Liked by 1 person

          9. 7128788elf says:

            Yes the world needs balance in so many different ways, but some how we seem to miss opportunities to help bring things into balance all the time. What a shame.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you so very much! I appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Delyn Merce says:

    I am always so moved by your “heart shares” ❤ I love the part about your son getting angry that someone made an elderly person cry.

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you so much. Yes, he was rather upset that someone made her cry. He has a kind heart that does not tolerate injustice well. I think it is a good thing.

      Like

      1. Delyn Merce says:

        Definitely a Good thing!!

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s