Waking Up Sober, a poem

FontCandy (11)

 

Mom was the only one

who believed in me.

She’d stand by the sidelines

cheering me on at baseball games

hands waving wildly in the air

yelling “go, go, go” when I hit the ball.

In school, when I struggled

she was the one who held my hand

even if she struggled to understand,

she would make certain

I always walked away doing my best.

In high school, I was the one who changed.

I pushed her away, started following the wrong crowd.

Each night as I partied with friends

she panicked, staying up late

to make sure I was still alive,

but it was not enough for me.

I pushed her away

I followed the wrong influences

I did not understand

but always… she was there for me

no matter how far I fell

no matter how huge my mistakes,

but I was younger then

I could not hear anything

over my own yearnings

whether it be – alcohol or drugs

depending on who

I was spending my time with.

She tried – she always tried to do her best

and I could not bring myself to sober up

until it was much too late.

Back at the college dorm, I got the call

mom had been in an accident.

someone drove on the wrong side of the road

and it was much too late for her to escape it.

They say she felt no pain, it was over quick –

but nothing could cure the massive guilt I carried.

At her funeral, I was afraid to come close

I stood way in the back – I panicked.

There was so much I wanted to say

but I knew it was too late to say it.

Eventually, I made my way to her casket

and through thick tears, I promised

I would become the man

she had strived so hard to raise,

and I’ve been sober ever since.

 

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Written for The Daily Post Prompt: panicked

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

 

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24 Comments Add yours

  1. leigha66 says:

    So much emotion in this piece… great writing!

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you so very much Leigha. I really appreciate your comments 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. leigha66 says:

        You are most welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful and touching Sumyanna, loved it!

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you very much Liza. Did you get settled? I would be going crazy without internet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I still haven’t got it at home, around a friends catching up, yes it’s driving me crazy 😜

        Like

        1. Sumyanna says:

          Thank goodness for friends (or your local Starbucks) 🙂 I would definitely go crazy being away for too long. Hope all is going well with your move!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thanks, I’m getting there, new flat which is nice. I sold an old Victorian flat, character and all that but I’m loving new, no drafts, no things going wrong lol 😂 I think I’ve sorted Internet on the balcony, it’s being installed properly Wednesday whoop whoop!

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Sumyanna says:

            Congratulations on the new flat. I know there is definitely a charm when I see older houses, but I always remind myself that they come with their own set of issues too. Woohoo! Soon you will be back in action 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Too right I will !! 😊x

            Liked by 1 person

    2. Sumyanna says:

      So glad you liked it. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mumsthewordblog1 says:

    Beautifully written 😃🐻

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you very much!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so beautiful & touching but heartbreaking! This message is an important reminder of how fragile and ever-changing life can be. It can literally change, drastically & forever, in seconds time. This is the same lesson I try to convey in my story about losing my father. We should try to always put our personal connections as priority and not take things for granted…people, health, the other living things that sustain us. Thank you for your words, they are appreciated and wonderfully written.❤️☮️☯️ ~Anne

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      I think we often don’t realize how fragile life is until something happens. I don’t want to be thinking about it every minute of every day, but I do hope that I can cherish it more – realizing it could be taken away. You are so right… and thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Pablo Cuzco says:

    I feel a lot of emotion here. Whether real or conjured, it strikes at the gut. Bravo! for telling it.

    Like

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Fortunately, it is not my story – but I understand how hard it must be. We make mistakes and sometimes the effects are lasting. Thank you very much!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Anonymous says:

    Very well written.There’s a lovely human touch to your poem.Hats off.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you very much

      Like

  7. This is very heart wrenching, Sumyanna. It is such a very sad idea.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sumyanna says:

      True. I watched an inspirational video by someone this morning and his story was along these lines. It was very touching. He turned his life around and now tries to help kids realize the dangers of addiction and taking those people who love you most for granted.

      I sometimes hope my writing can make people stop and think about what is important. Sometimes it helps to see it through someone else’s eyes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are right, Sumyanna. It is very important not to take people for granted, especially the elderly as you never know what the future holds. Addiction is such a terrible thing and you have told this story most beautifully.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Sumyanna says:

          Thank you agree with you completely

          Liked by 1 person

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