I Left Myself Behind Once, a poem



I left myself behind once

closed the door

and walked away.

It was not

that I did not love

who I wanted to be

but I wanted to

shave my history from my sides

peel back the layers of my skin

the witness to all my pain

and reemerge just as a butterfly

slowly escapes from its cocoon.

Over time, the sound of my name

slowly refused to sing upon my tongue

and I wound around myself

a new identity

a new beauty

that escaped the harshness of winter.

There was no going back

and that is how it should be.

I now sit, thinking of the old days

when I was just a child

who loved chasing fireflies,

staring up at the clouds,

and weaving words into poetry

to lull my heart with dreams.

I have grown –

and I have grown so far away

from where I used to be

but somewhere deep inside,

that cautious curiosity still lives in me

and while sometimes the past

brings sadness

it also sometimes

provides me with a gentle smile.

I would not be

the woman I am today,

had I not been

the child that I once was

had I not been given

the world wherein I lived

at that moment

and in that time

and somehow,

I had to walk away from myself

back then,

leave it all behind

to wash away the memories

that left their scent upon my skin

so that I could emerge โ€“

free to see the beauty that I once was

and free to see the beauty of possibility.


ยฉ Sumyanna 2017



8 Comments Add yours

  1. Soul Gifts says:

    I like the metaphor of a butterfly becoming – you capture it so creatively ๐Ÿ™‚


    1. Sumyanna says:

      Thank you very much – I adore butterflies, I have to admit. Not just because they are beautiful, but because they do not fear change or growth ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Soul Gifts says:

        Your poem captured the ‘butterfly becoming’ in human form so beautifully.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Our past makes us who we are today ๐Ÿ™‚


    1. Sumyanna says:

      Yes indeed. I have no regrets, just don’t ask my younger self ๐Ÿ™‚ You might get a different answer lol. Oh, the wisdom gained (we hope) in older age. It was so odd, this message was sent to spam. I had to resuscitate you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜

        Liked by 1 person

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