Each moment is priceless. As the days stretch into years I think I have learned that more than anything. I cherish the simple moments, watching my children grow and learn. I feel blessed that I am able to spend most of my day with them.
Homeschooling is a challenge. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it is easy. Unless you are doing nothing to help your children learn, it is a difficult job but one that is incredibly rewarding. When they struggled, I struggled to find ways to help them learn. When they succeeded, I was there to cheer them on. I cherish that, more than anything.
My earliest influence was… hands down… my grandmother. She taught me to love learning. She also taught me that learning was a lifelong journey. She taught me to seek creativity and self expression and to do the best job I was capable of. She died when I was rather young, but she left her imprint nonetheless. I guess those moments, by her side, were the beginning of my journey as a homeschool mother. I just did not know it yet.
Not long after having my first child, I learned about homeschooling. I admired the hard work and enthusiasm my friends who homeschooled showed toward their children’s education. I also admired how close-knit they were as a family. Not only did they learn together, but they grew together.
I took the bait and it was (at times) a difficult road, but one that I do not regret for one moment. It means never being alone in your thoughts (or perhaps just rarely if you can get the bathroom door shut before they barge in) 🙂 It means not having the time to pursue the things that you cherish. It means not having the time to do the things that you want to do… for yourself or by yourself and sometimes it means not having time at all for anything.
I have learned to take all this in stride, because seriously, those things are minor compared to the things I have gained. Every moment with my children is priceless. It does not matter if it is watching my young son sprawled out on the floor, playing with his cars or train sets. It does not matter if it is helping my younger daughter struggle through math problems that seem impossible for her. Sometimes, it feels impossible to me to – because one thing I have learned while homeschooling is that we all think rather differently. That is not always easy… learning to understand our differences, but it is my job to find that one thing that will tie all those lessons together and carve them to make sense for my children. Even that struggle is priceless. Gaining understanding of one another is a gift. Learning to help each other achieve is another.
At times, I feel guilty when I am not around. I cherish my blog more than anything. I swear my heart begs me to write, get out in nature, or just breathe fresh air and I often I just can’t. I have had to learn that delicate balancing act called life. Sometimes I can juggle the ball of my needs, but more often than not, I have to juggle others before my own.
I have no intention to leave, mind you. I have more than enough desire within me to write. I just always struggle with being able to say “I will be here on Monday” or “I will be able to post three times a week” or even “I will be able to do the things I strongly desire to do” because I can’t always, no matter how bad I want to. I don’t want it to sound like a complaint – it isn’t. Life is just like that and truly every moment in between those spend doing the things I love… I am cherishing them too.
So in a way, this is an apology, or perhaps just a recognition that I cannot always do the things I hope to do. I guess it is a good thing – recognizing our limits, trying to find ways around them when we desire something out of reach. I always hold on to the hope that if there is every something out there for me, that I shall find it. I try to remind myself the priceless beauty that life has to offer in every second and in every breath. It may not always be what we want, or perhaps life will just take over and seemingly keeps us from our dreams… but always know that as long as we keep struggle to find them…
they will find you. I honestly believe that.
(c) Sumyanna 2017
Written for The Daily Post Prompt: priceless