I’m not one to usually come across as not caring. I usually try pretty hard to be understanding, to reciprocate, to be there for others. I don’t think of that as a bad thing, although some might. It’s just the way I am.
Recently it has been a whirlwind of change. Well, maybe not a whirlwind to others… but only to myself. Over the summer my camera broke, which has left me without the view I am used to. I’m not complaining… even though I know you have heard this before. It’s just a fact. I have used my phone but the pictures are way too crisp and clean for what I hope to achieve. My daughters camera is a point and shoot. I swear that thing takes forever to focus on the right image and almost always focuses on everything except what I was wanting to focus on. To me, no matter how disappointing it can be… this is life. Sometimes, you just can’t do what you want to do or do it the way you want to. You have to learn to adapt.
This is not to say that my camera is long gone. We finally got a chance to order a cleaning kit – it is sitting right here on my desk, waiting for me to use it. I am hoping for sooner than later 😉 So we are working on it.
Actually a bit before my camera died, my daughter dropped my phone on the garage floor. It did not survive. I was without a phone for a bit because we wanted to buy a particular kind. Once that arrived, I was happy to once again be reunited, but my phone was not the same anymore. For some strange reason, that darn phone has “family safety” on it. I went into my account and deleted family safety, but it still blocks certain things… namely blogs. Nothing has been changed on my phone from the previous phone, no one installed family safety, but there it is. We are still trying to figure that one out, but my husband has been a bit busier than usual at work, so we haven’t had a chance yet.
To understand how that impacts me, you would have to know how I work. I already know I’m not normal… that’s okay with me. Way back when we started homeschooling, I knew that if I wanted to be successful, I would have to keep the distractions to a minimum. You know… people call and chat forever, not realizing that you are busy or you go to see a math video with your 1st grader and end up spending hours watching old clips of I Love Lucy together. And while I consider that time well spent, things still need to be done.
I am a bit practical. I know these things waste time, but aside from just realizing that – I try to contain that distraction. So years ago, I had my husband install a software program on all of the kid’s computers that block things that easily distract them. If they want to play games – they can, but when all their work is done for the day. Since I was their primary teacher, I also needed to block distractions – so I gladly gave up my access to all things distracting to be a better teacher. I know many would say, “Have some backbone!” and to that I can only reply, that’s exactly what I was doing 🙂
It can be a pain sometimes, but I find it incredibly rewarding to achieve the things you set out to achieve. I feel that success in anything will always come at some cost. So yeah, I don’t have unfettered access to the world wide internet, and that’s okay by me. I allow myself an hour a day to spend on the blog and at those moments I can access anything I want – but my blog is usually my main choice of reward. Some days that really sucks because it will lock me out before I get a chance to finish and then I have to wait for the next day. Other times (and they have been more prominent lately) I don’t have any free time at all. That’s just the way it is.
I know… I’m strange. I think (or at least I hope) that each of us make choices that help us be more successful in life and I do believe that this has helped our family immensely. No matter the strange stares or the odd looks. I will continue to be me, no matter how strange I might seem. I just feel that life is too short to spend all of my time distracted. I remember the days when children played in the streets and people were out in their yards, tending to gardens. People, back then, spent more time – together. Is it really so strange that I wish we had more time together?
Anyway, that leads me back to my problem. I don’t read other blogs on my computer – but on my phone. With that gosh darn glitch, I have had a hard time reading anyone. It is not because I don’t want to spend time – I actually cherish the time I am able to read and I miss all of you terribly. The problem is, if I use the browser on my phone, it blocks all blogs. Okay, got that – so download another browser. I did. Problem is, it allows me to read, but after I spend time typing up a long comment, it will sit there and never add the comment to the person’s page. At first, I assumed it actually added the comment, but I just couldn’t see it. Unfortunately – nope.
I’m still working on this and hoping to tie my husband to his desk chair long enough to fix it for me. I have no idea what else to do to the phone that I haven’t already done. Family safety is not the program, by the way, that we use on the computers. We don’t use it at all but a long, long time ago my husband did try it. As far as we know it was deleted and the account on my phone I deleted myself. Ugh.
So yeah, I’m a bit of a mixed up lady these days and who knows what will happen as we keep getting more and more technologically advanced! Sorry for all the rambling, but I just wanted to explain. I have truly missed seeing everyone and although I can “see” anyone’s blog that I want, I really hate seeing but not supporting my other bloggers out there. So I send you my deepest apologies – I am telling you that I truly have missed you – and I hope things will get worked out soon. In the meantime, thank you so much for supporting my oddities. It means more to me than you will ever know.