We’ve been working on a new schedule lately. It has helped immensely, even though all of its benefits are not apparent at this time. Things… just… take… time, I guess. Through the invention of a new approach in school as well as a new schedule, we somehow managed the amazing feat of going out one day this week to enjoy the last of warmer days. On Wednesday, the temperature was 83 F, so it was perfect for roaming around the free gardens. I would like to sat that was our first choice, but we drove all the way to the Botanic Gardens only to find out they were closing in thirty minutes due to some function. The day was once again saved by my favorite spot to watch the clouds roll by…
While many may scoff, why would you go to the gardens now? (especially when the weather the next day was 40 F) I have to admit, I don’t ever tire from being outdoors. I actually feel a huge need to get out there – to find that stillness in my heart once more. And while many of the flowers were already pulled from the ground, there were a few here or there, hiding beneath the decay of much taller plants. At the same time, there was also so many reminders of the beauty that once was there… as well as a reminder that it will soon come again, if only we can remain patient.
I know that I”ve been rather quiet here and anywhere else lately. At one time, perhaps, that silence would have worried me. And perhaps, when we are younger, we strive to make more noise. I am however, slowly learning more about myself in these moments. I am learning the things I need to do for myself as well as the things that make me feel more at ease. It is strange to think I have never noticed, or perhaps I had never taken the time. However, I feel like I know myself more now than I have in the past. I feel that I understand where some of my weaknesses, my needs, my worries and concerns as well as my strengths, my aspirations and my goals all come from. I guess you could say, that instead of always having something to say, I have finally learned to listen.
I don’t know if that will change me. Perhaps I will look the same, talk the same, seem the same… but I know that there is a difference brewing inside me, an awareness, if you will. I am much more willing to contemplate and understand myself these days. So yes, I have been silent in so many ways, but I am still here and I am still smiling 🙂
I am hoping that in the coming weeks things will improve and I will be able to have a more certain schedule for my writing. As with all things, it will take time… but I do see it on the horizon. I think it is a good thing.. for the past few weeks and months have taken me away from opportunities to write and I miss it.
I have also missed a lot of opportunities to get outdoors and take photographs. We finally cleaned the camera and it worked for all of 30 minutes. So we have resolved to take it to get fixed once my husband determines where to take it. I know it will take time, but truthfully I have to admit that those 30 minutes were the most delicious moments in a long time! I’ve been using my daughter’s point and click camera and it fights me all the way… trying to focus on one thing while I want to focus on something else. It will be good when I finally get my camera back, but at least until then I do have something to use 🙂
Anyway, to save you from my rambling… I have a few photos to share from the gardens. Even though there are not a lot of flowers anymore, there still is so very much to see…
The guy (above) swooped down low over me as I stood by a small pond. He seemed rather bothered at my presence.
Seems he was looking for someone. That someone was not far away, underneath a bush near my feet, hiding… (below)