Portrait Poetry Series #81: Not Knowing is Killing Me

Here’s another poem from the Portrait Poetry Series.

For those who haven’t read form this series in the past, here’s an explanation:

I love writing prompts – whether a list of words, one word, or even an image. With these posts, I have written poems specifically about paintings and I hope, with my words, you see the scene just as visibly with your heart and mind as if you had seen the image itself.

I hope you enjoy this one!

Not Knowing, Is Killing Me

This morning,

she woke up crying

He laid next to her in bed

held her close

and allowed her

to express her sorrow.

Sometimes

all we choose to do

is hide our fears

disguise our pain

but he knew she needed

to learn to let go

to trust

to know –

that sometimes, we just

have no choice

but to breathe

even when it is difficult

to cry

even though the torment

in your chest

is tearing you apart

for you have no choice.

Last year,

at the hospital –

she learned she had

an incurable disease

and each day forward

is one they told her

would not be possible

but it tears you down daily

the constant worry

will this be it?

will this be the last day

I hold my husband close?

the last day

I hold my child’s hand

as she learns to walk

and what comes after?

Will I be remembered

or will I slowly fade

from their everyday vocabulary?

Will I even be missed?

and she knows that letting go

is not getting any easier

as each day passes.

What should be celebrated,

each and every day

past her declared demise,

instead haunts her…

if not now,

then when?

© Sumyanna 2017