Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge

Discover Challenge: Perhaps This is the Year for Change

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For The Daily Prompt Discover Challenge this week, we were asked to share that glowing ember of hope that makes you excited for 2017.  There are so many things I could have written about.  Whiles some may disagree, I feel that hope abounds.  However, this time I decided to make it personal.  See, I have been trying to reinvent myself (and have been for a long time).  I have hope that things will change in a good way, and that there is so much more growing I have yet to do.

 

For the longest time, my pen was never lifted – beyond needing to fill out forms at the doctor’s office, paperwork for school, or scribbled drawn-out math problems on sheets of recycled paper.  See, I wasn’t always a writer – or at least I hadn’t been for over 20 years.  I had seemingly lost my voice, or at least put it away somewhere without realizing it.  Flash back two years ago when I decided to say goodbye to someone we were sorely going to miss.  How would I do it appropriately?   I thought back to the recent poetry lessons I had done with my daughter and came to the conclusion that I would write a poem, but where to start?

 

Funny enough, it was rather easy to find the words and I’ll never know if the poem itself meant as much to our friends as it did for me writing them.  Yet somehow, this small act of thankfulness brings me here now and sometimes it seems like I never left.  I have come a long way, I think – and I seem less afraid.  I think in the beginning – like most of us, I was afraid, “would I be accepted?” or perhaps that familiar question, “is what I am writing even  worth being shared?”

 

I think I have grown because nowadays, I am not 100% percent certain of the answers to those questions, but I write anyway.  I guess that is the barrier we all have to overcome.  Now, I write mostly for the joy it brings me and yes, I am ever aware that there are people listening.  Truthfully, that is a blessing.  The point is, I guess – that I have come to a place where I am comfortable with myself and I am truly thankful for that growth.  Truthfully, had anyone told me I would find myself here, I would have said “no way!”

 

I guess each leg of this journey is a way for us to find ourselves, wherever we may be.  I have grown, I grow, and I will continue to strive to define myself every step of the way and I expect that someday I may find myself somewhere that I could never have foreseen.  That is the adventure of it all.

 

Lately, I have been looking in to trying to manage myself a little better.  Trying to write and be a mother who homeschools, cooks, and cleans, is never an easy task.  However, I have realized that I do need to dedicate some time in my schedule for things I want to pursue or else I run the risk of losing myself.  Aside from enjoying photography, writing is something I am really serious about and I want to stretch and grow this next year (whatever the heck that means) 🙂  Because, yes – I don’t always know exactly where on the map I want to land (at least yet).

 

I have hopes though, that I will find my way.  I have hopes that I will be able to make the time to dedicate myself to these tasks.  I have hopes that I will find myself on a somewhat different, or perhaps more defined path in the near future and I truly look forward to every single step that will take me there.  I find it a little scary – yes, but also quite exciting.  At this point, were you to ask – I could not detail the steps I will take or the path that will lead me to where I want to be.  However, I am thinking and slowly pondering who I am and who I want to be.  Not forever – mind you.  Just in the not so distant future.  When I get there – there will be other dreams to be laid.  Until then, I will just enjoy where I am and hope for what the future brings.

 

(c) Sumyanna 2016

 

Written for The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Hope Gone Viral

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

Other wonderful posts for this prompt:

The Most Amazing Caregiver

Hope and Kindness

City Living / Shared Space

 

 

 

 

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge, inspirational, On Writing, Thinking Out Loud

Daily Post Discover Challenge: Learning to Mind the Gap

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It was approximately two years ago that I started writing again.  My children were moving to a new school and I wanted to say thank you to the school we were leaving behind.  I figured to send my thanks in the only way I knew how – a poem.  Even though I had stopped writing approximately 20 years prior, I picked up the pen and it felt familiar.  I could not say it is just like remembering to ride a bike – I was rusty, but still – my feelings came across and that was what mattered.

 

For some reason after that – I felt the urge to continue.  I don’t know exactly why, but I started my blog Butterfly Kisses Watermelon Wishes – mostly to share the poetry I had written for my children.  I really did not know what to expect and there was this wide chasm between where I was and what I hoped to accomplish.  Strangely, it was in writing prompts that I found my true voice.  In trying to find ways to bring more people to my blog, I started writing for prompts on a site that is no longer active.  I enjoyed these challenges more that I ever imagined – and I think what truly amazed me was that I could actually write.  I had never expected that.  Sad to think how long I had been silent, now that I look back on it.

 

I had never written much for prompts, except for a writing workshop I had been a part of in high school.  Otherwise, I thought the only reason for writing was to express my own feelings and struggles.  So, when life started turning around – I felt I had nothing to say.  Joining the writing world after so many years has taught me so very much, not only about my writing but also about myself.  I now know – that anything can be turned into a poem and the only thing that keeps us from doing so, is our own inability to see it as a possibility.  Strange to think that writing for a prompt could give you such a powerful lesson.

 

In the beginning, I wrote just for one word prompts.  They were okay – but again, I often fell into the trap of writing mostly what I knew.  I was blinded to other views for the most part.  However, as I started writing for 10 word prompt lists (and I must admit they were harder at first) but I finally started to realize that I had the ability to make stories out of my poetry.  I did not have to live them – but I could breath life into those words.  While part of me may be in all of my poetry, doing prompts expanded my view and allowed my writing to be more free.

 

A year ago or so, I had started to call myself a writer – and actually meant that.  Now, this – I must admit, is an accomplishment for me.  I had crossed a wide chasm of thinking I had no voice – to believing in myself.  You cannot imagine what a gift that has been.  When you falter, when you wonder if you are worth being heard – it is a blessing to know that all those feelings you hold in your heart, the impetus for much of your poetry means something to someone else.  I cannot explain it, but it is a blessing to be able to share my words with you.  Had I never picked up that pen a few years ago, I never would have known.

 

At some point last year, I wanted to post poetry with images – but I struggled because the images were not my own.  Again – I was burdened by another obstacle.  Minding the gap, I stepped across and invented my own type of poetry series “Portraits Poetry.”  What I wanted to accomplish was to interpret the image – and give a person a visual tour through the lines of my poetry.  I wanted to bring the painting alive.  Yeah, had I been a painter – perhaps I would have painted my own images, but that is definitely not in my skill set 🙂  Besides, that probably would have been easier.  Then, I decided not to share the image at all – in the hopes that the words would be enough to paint the image.

 

While this may not seem like much to some – this was another way for me to grow.  It took a lot of effort to bring the image alive and it caused me to focus on every little nuance and detail in the poem.  I also noticed, that when I started writing my own “life experience” poetry, I tended to be more expressive and descriptive.  Again – the writer that I am had been reborn.  For some that may be new to my name – I only started this blog recently in the hopes to rekindle my passion for writing and to take it in a new direction from my older blog.  I finally feel like I have found my voice and feel confident it matters to let my voice be heard.  For me, this is surely a sign of my growth in the past few years.  I hope many of you find it worthwhile as well 🙂

 

So, to me – I think life (and finding yourself as a writer) is a series of “minding those gaps” and finding ways to stretch, grow, and overcome.  I now feel that I walk around the world with my eyes that much wider, trying to soak it all in.  In essence, it is not only something that affects the writer I have become, but I think I walk in more appreciation for the world around me because of it.

 

What are those next gaps ahead?  I just don’t know yet, but I have faith that I will learn to adjust and grow to get past them.  It is a gift – those gaps, and I have hope that they will lead me somewhere wonderful.  I cannot help but hope that not only I have benefited from them, but others will benefit from them as well.  Mind that gap – you never know where it may take you.

 

(c) Sumyanna 2016

Written for The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Mind the Gap

Image courtesy of Morguefile (quicksandala)

 

Some other amazing posts for the Discover Challenge (I will update these as I find more):

When Death Happens, Life Has a Funny Way of Comforting

 

 

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge, Thinking Out Loud

Daily Post Discover Challenge: Knowing You Are My Sunshine

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This week, we were asked to write about a song that stayed with us, and I know I’m going to break tradition and not write about some of the amazing music that has touched our lives.  Instead, I’m going to keep it simple and true.  I have grown as a person through the lines of a simple song that I sang in childhood and I have found the truth of the words, “You are My Sunshine.”

 

I remember as a child, growing up singing this song.  It did not matter where I was, you can be certain of one thing – I was always singing.  I grew up wanting to be one of two things – a teacher or a singer.  So, I guess I have achieved something.  I am teaching the kids and I get to drive them crazy by my constant singing J

 

Now, back then – the song did not really hold any special meaning, but it was one I remember singing often while playing with dolls or playing in the backyard.  And can I just say now, how odd I find it that many of the songs I sang in childhood are still remembered?  I mean, word for word.  It is funny how some things just stick with you.

 

Race forward many years and here I am holding my first daughter.  I would often sit in a chair and rock her to sleep while singing “You are my Sunshine.”  Now – and I do mean this with every cell of my body –  this song means every word and every line.  I feel it in my bones, because yes!  She is my sunshine each and every day.

 

I have gone through this ritual with every child, singing them to sleep, singing when they are hurt to calm them down, and singing to them because I feel joy.  Okay – I sing for any old reason, but these words!  These words mean so much more than they did when I was a child, and I guess the reason is – back then, no one sang them to me.  They did not have the same meaning because unfortunately, I never felt that special growing up.  And while that is sad, I know, (and I have cried at times when I was much younger) – I realize that I have the power to give those words meaning.

 

I can love and love and love some more and let my children know every day just how much they mean to me.  So, while the tale is sad – I can make something of that sadness.  I can learn the importance of the things I did not have and give them to my children.  Hopefully it will impact them and help them realize how good it felt to be loved and they will do the same for their children.  I can be the cause of that.  I rather like that idea!

 

So I can definitely say, I have grown through the years singing “You are My Sunshine.”  I have learned the importance of showing others that you love them.  And when my son feels down and begs me to sing to him, I will sing softly in his ear so only he can hear my secret.  Just like my other children, he is my world – and I get to share that with him in the words of a song.

 

© Sumyanna 2016

Written for The Daily Post Discovery Challenge: Song

Lovely image courtesy of Morguefile (cheriedurbin)

 

 

 

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge, Mountains, Photography, Photography Experiments

Daily Post Discover Challenge: Driving Among the Clouds

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This week’s Daily Discover Challenge had me thinking.  There were so many ways to go with this, it was a tough decision.  However, as I was looking over my images from a trip we took a week or so ago in the mountains I could not help but decide to make my own gif.  Fortunately it was not that hard and one of the benefits is that these images probably would not have been shown in any other way.

 

Last week we took a trip in the mountains.  We had heard the leaves were turning color and hoped to take a rest from the stresses of school to enjoy the ensuing fall beauty.  The entire trip was filled with beauty, and it is only a shame you cannot capture it all.  However, I really loved the feeling we had at the top of the highest peaks – it was as if we were driving among the clouds.

 

Let’s just face it.  I am crazy 🙂  I take pictures while my husband is driving, even though I know none of them will turn out well.  Seriously, we are fortunate that I am not driving because yes – I would be crazy enough to want to stop every few steps to snap another picture.  Somehow, he always has the better view while driving on his side of the road too.  However, in making a gif of these images that are less than perfect, I can give you a sense that you are also driving along with us and taking in the beautiful view.  So for that, I am ever so grateful that this challenge asked me to do something different.  Otherwise, you might have missed out on this.  I hope you enjoy!

 

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© Sumyanna 2016

 

 

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge, Parenthood Poems, Poetry, Portrait Series Poetry, Sad Poems, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

Daily Post Discover Challenge: The Empty Nest

Portraits Series

 

I cannot tell you how delighted I am about the Daily Post Discover Challenge this week.  For the past year, I have been writing the Portraits Poetry Series and have amassed about 70 poems so far.  This is poetry that I write, inspired by a particular image – and I write the poem around what I see or imagine  in the image.  I choose not to show the image – so that the words can paint the picture alone.

 

I have recently started sharing them here on my blog – so for this challenge I will share the next poem in the series.  I hope you enjoy it.

 

The Empty Nest

The house is empty now
the floorboards creek
in the silence
the stillness
so quiet,
I can hear
my own breaths
and I mourn the loss
of noise.
I walk these halls
slowly soaking it all in
haunted by the shadows
of what was before
these empty spaces
where toys were strewn
and laughter rang out
where love and purpose
were the cause of the moment.
I can still see my boy
in faded vision
legs crossed on the floor
row upon row of cars at his feet
he hovers intently and plays
contentment shines on his face.
I can see my daughter
where memories fade,
pink tutu around her waist
and she quietly pirouettes
across the floor
graceful movements
until she falls to the floor
in fits of laughter
a smile
a smile
a smile
yes – I remember this
My life is made of smiles now
of deep reminiscence
and I hardly know
whether what I remember
is real – or constructed
edited to perfection
but I miss those moments
as I sit in this old house
where the floorboards creak
and the sounds of yesterday
echo in the silence.

(c) Sumyanna 2016