Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Poetry, Sad Poems, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

the past is just the past, a poem

past

 

The past
is just the past
I say…
don’t let the anger
wash over you,
refuse
to let the pain
ease its way
into your heart.
Is it not enough –
it once held
power over you?
For some things
we must learn
to let go.
Like the waters
continually washing
over the stone –
let the past
smooth your edges,
let it help you
forge your ways
in correctness
where injustice or pain
once stood
in your way.
Know that –
what happened
does not define you
nor confine you
to the turmoil
that other people
or situations
create.
You can mourn
the past,
let the sorrows
trickle
from the recesses
of your eyes,
let it wrack your soul
with pain
or you can
get back up again
and decide to fight
for everything
you believe in,
let the sorrows
lay waste
at your feet,
and show
the world exactly
what you are made of.

© Sumyanna 2017

Beautiful image courtesy of http://Pixabay.com

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Nature Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

I walk this side of hunger, a poem

hunger

 

I tend to walk

this side of hunger –

a constant, fervent push

toward each last breath

as though it may be

my last.

Each touch

a moment held,

in warmth,

lingering in the conscious

then the subconscious

and later,

spilling upon the page

when the words are necessary.

The scent

of each moment sings.

Its commencement,

an aria

rippling beneath the breast

building in crescendo

and rising as a symphony

of moments

images

and feelings,

nothing forgotten

misunderstood

or misinterpreted

but held with delicate hand

every curve and line

examined

touched

smelled

and witnessed

and loved, yes loved

every single moment

loved.

 

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

Finding the Lessons, a poem

Contemplate (2)

 

The words wept

from the depths of her soul

swirling, churning

visualizations of angst,

lacing themselves

between the syllables.

She did not moan

she did not cry

but she expressed.

She laid bare

the feelings,

turning them in her fingers,

examining their crevices.

She tried to

understand

learn

grow

and perhaps to delay

the onset  of further pain.

Lessons dangled there

in the silence

she listened to their voices,

contemplating their stories told.

Where would she go?

What should she do?

And how could she

plant her feet firmly

yet fly away still?

She could bereave

these moments,

cover herself in pain,

cover herself in shame

at all the mistakes

that lead to sadness,

but often here,

as well in times of joy,

there is room for growth.

To truly cherish

the breaths

and the gifts

of passing moments

she must understand

the blessings

she has in their presence

as well as the hardship

of finding the lessons

when life’s beauty

and gifts

are seemingly strained.

 

© Sumyannah 2017

 

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Nature Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems

and then reclaim, a poem

Reclaim

 

I like to window shop

the length of my days,

to tarry in the moments

of crimson skylines,

rising blooms,

and the stirring scent

of forest silence,

for as long as I have

the gift to reflect,

I am rarely dismayed.

It matters not,

if coldness sets in,

nor if the stretch

of skylight

is hid beneath

graying shrouds,

I have not forgotten…

Even in the busy stir

of life in the city,

I still hear the birdsong

held within the forest

and in a moment’s rest,

I seek it out here,

in the song

of swooping blue jay,

cooing dove,

and woodpeckers perched

high up in the trees.

Their song

is reminiscent

of my own soul’s

longing to sing.

In winter, now,

I watch the horizon

slowly pale,

I see the outstretched,

naked limbs of trees

scratch across a naked sky,

praying for sun

and I feel

the absence of color,

the browning out

of pasture, field, and valley,

the withered leaves

of yesterday

beyond restoration.

I know

this is the cycle of things

the fleshing out nature’s breath

and even in these hindered moments,

beauty speaks.

It may require an open heart

and eyes to see

and perhaps some faith

in the recurring crawl

toward momentous birth

to have

to lose

and then reclaim.

 

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Nature Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

I Choose to See Beauty, a poem

SeeBeauty

 

I choose
to follow
the unbalanced beauty
of nature’s grace
to observe
the splendor
of opening fields of flowers
on an early summer’s morn.
It is not,
that in winter
the fields are not
filled with decay,
nor that pain
does not exist
when the finger, is pricked,
but my thoughts linger
upon all the delight
and beauty
that exists.
And when I dream,
I hope
that someday
the world’s beauty
shall overcome
her sorrow.

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Gorgeous image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Posted in Enjoying the Simple Things, On Life, On Parenthood, Thinking Out Loud

Just When You Need Motivation

Believe

 

Yeah, I know – I’ve been gone a while here and a while there.  Things have been busy.  Well, it is not a bad thing for sure, but I have also missed being online at least for my own sanity.  I have two kiddos that I homeschool that are high school age now and they have been keeping me busy.  The younger two are a full-time job on a daily basis, so that is to be expected.  So mama time – is just a fantasy that I hold in my heart right now, and sometimes there is a glimmer of hope in a few seconds here or there.

 

In one way, it is good for me having the two older kids in high school.  They do most of their work on their own and in some cases, even help each other out when the other needs it.  They do sometimes need help though and that’s alright by me – we often figure out things together.  So lately I’ve been helping my daughter who is Dyslexic in her writing course.  She does not need a lot of help, but she sincerely needs a reminder “you can do this” as often as possible.  She is actually a really good writer, but she always second guesses herself.  She wanted to stretch her skills and take a writing course and so far she had done very well – but it helps to have a “brainstorming session” with me to help her gather her ideas and when she writes, I try to help her to visualize herself in the story, either as a character or as a bystander so that she can use more important details in her writing.  So far it has gone well, and the results have been fantastic – but wow, no rest for the weary!

 

In another way, there is a heck of a lot of preparation that goes into getting the older two ready for college.  Not long ago, I was able to find a conference for one of them to attend in their choice of careers.  It went over so well that I am trying to line up experiences for the other kiddos (even the younger ones) in the hope that something just makes things click for them.  It is not always an easy task to find yourself or to figure out what path you want to take when the world just seems full of possibilities.  So having these experiences, I hope, can help them start to figure things out.

 

Perhaps it helps to understand that as a kid, I was rarely encouraged.  I’m not trying to make this a sob story, I am way beyond that now.  I just like to think of it as a point of reference for me and a worthy education at times as well.  I think of all the things that I missed out on.  I cannot help but imagine what might have been if things were different, but I am also rather happy where I am now (hope that makes sense).  I wrote even back then and actually participated in competitions (even moving as high as representing my state in a few competitions in high school).  Sadly, I never knew much about the world outside of school and home.  I never even knew to look up writing groups or find ways to attend conferences… nothing.  Of course, back in those days things were different than they are now (as my son likes to say, were there dinosaurs when you were growing up?).  Nowadays, everything is a click away.  You just need to know what to search for.

 

So, I am taking advantage of that change in times in the hopes that I can provide something for my children that I feel I really missed out on.  Mind you, despite the lack of encouragement – there never was a question that I wanted to be a writer someday and I really don’t mind if the only writing I am able to do is on my blog.  It just took me like eons to figure out that you can be a writer all on your own without anyone giving you a certificate 🙂 and I’m really glad that I have this opportunity.

 

Ahhh, I do have to say I do like some of the changes that have come over us.  Technology does have its benefits.  Were it not for the internet, perhaps I would never have been brave enough to even call myself a writer.  Fortunately, spending time with other writers and like-minded people has helped me see my own value as well.  Instead, I have learned to feel more comfortable in my own skin as a writer and I have no doubt that I can write.  Trust me though, when I say I am not overconfident to the point that my head will swell.  But let’s look at it from the perspective that many of us are afraid to say those words.  I used to be that way too.  We somehow feel like we have to have our names in lights and our faces on the back inner spine of a book in order to have achieved something.

 

As I was saying… when I was growing up, I was never encouraged.  My family did not even know I wrote (even though I banged on that typewriter all the time and spent time in competitions – but they were during school trips).  They just didn’t take any interest.  They still don’t know that I write now, but that is another story for another day.  Anyway, the most important thing in my life somehow escaped their attention.  When I was in high school and in college and said I wanted to get an English degree, I was told “writer’s never get jobs.”  I was equally told it was a waste of time and that I would never amount to anything, so why bother?  But I cannot help wondering, what would have happened had someone said “Try!  I believe in you!”  How many times have all of us needed that voice?

 

Now, there were certain teachers that did encourage me to the best of their ability, especially the one who encouraged me to take up the pen in the first place.  The sad thing is though, that they can only do so much and most assume you live in an encouraging environment.  So for me, I never found out about scholarships or attended writing groups or conferences.  I just wrote and kept my voice to myself.

 

I am happy to say though that despite the lack of encouragement, I have never lost my love for writing and I doubt that I will ever tire from the desire to express myself even when I have limited time.  There were times I had to spend working on things I did not love and there were times when I have had to put my writing aside – but I always come back to it.  I need to – as sure as I live and breathe.  It just somehow makes me whole.

 

So yeah, I take my job pretty seriously for encouraging and supporting the kids as much as I can.  And yes, it is a busy undertaking, but I know how important it can be.  Some of my kiddos are certain about what they want to do and others are just as equally uncertain.  One is certain she wants to be a writer – but has trouble knowing what that means for her.  Will there be opportunities?  And for me, as a mother – I don’t want her to waste her time trying to find reasons she should not.  I want her to find reasons she can and if there are no paths for her, then she can make one.  So I feel it is my job to find ways to let them see what is out there and to see what they are capable of in the hopes that just like my teachers did for me… I can encourage their first spark toward something they love.  I know they won’t ever forget it – just as I have never forgotten the same and what a precious gift to give.

 

So if you notice my absence sometimes, know that I am most likely okay.  If I have not visited, know that I will try once an opportunity arises.  I have missed you to pieces, dear blog family.  I know people will say, don’t bother with the blog… but I do this for me – and as much as homeschooling keeps me busy, I need my time away… writing or taking photographs to feel sane and anchored to the ground.  I have finally matured enough to not feel guilty for having needs too.  This is where I wash away my fears, allow myself to drown in my tears, and pull the sunshine out of the sky when I need it most.  It is the one place that I am free to hear my own thoughts and where I am closest to my dreams.  As a writer, I could not ask for more.

 

Now there is one last thing I want to share with you.  I know that I’m not special.  What I mean by that is – I know that I am not alone in never hearing words of encouragement.  It is a sad fact that I have known many and I am ever so grateful that they believed enough to share a part of their hearts so bravely.  It is not easy growing you own courage!  I just want you to know – I’ve got your back.

 

It’s like I tell the kids all the time, there are so many people who achieved greatness and perhaps many of them were never even celebrated – but they mattered.  What they did mattered – even if they only touched the heart of one other person in some way.  Of those who were later celebrated, in their day and time they were discouraged, told they were dumb, told they had no talent, told they would never amount to anything and all I can say is darn it, I’m glad they didn’t believe them!  For some miraculous reason – they just held on to their dream.  They were fortunate that in some way they were able to pull through the muck and mire, they were able to bring forth the courage no matter the naysayers. In some other cases, there was someone behind them – pulling them or pushing them forward with words of encouragement.

 

At the end of the day, you need to realize (as do I) that these same people probably had the same fears that we do.  They probably struggled with wondering if they were good enough, talented enough, or worthy of dreams.  They probably wondered if the naysayers were correct and maybe they should stop wasting their time.  I mean, what is the point anyway, right?

 

The question I have to ask myself – and you have to ask yourself – is how will you ever know if you aren’t willing to try?  And most importantly, we must learn from those who came before us.  What would have happened had those people – those celebrated for their greatness – never had someone (perhaps even themselves) say that they could?  The loss would truly have been ours and you cannot imagine where we would be without their influence.

 

So, even if it is a little voice in your head, listen to it.  If you are fortunate to have someone else willing to believe in you, show them just how right they are.  Cherish that they are willing to hold your hand.  And if the only encouragement you have is this very blog post, then by all means take it!  I give it willingly.   I believe in you.  I believe in you – and if you believe in yourself, you will be amazed to see what you can accomplish.  Let no one steal away your opportunity to dream.  For what would the world be without you?

 

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Nature Photography, Nature Poems, Photography, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Uncategorized, Water, Woman's Poetry

Their Essence upon My Fingertips

oceanview (3)

 

 

I spoke

in length

in whispers

taunting the silence

to speak to my soul.

I untied my words

coaxing the dialogue

to dance upon my tongue

while the rays of morning sun

showered upon the hillside

where resplendent beauty wept

in shades of emerald

dancing beneath azure skies

their colors coalesced

then separated

and merged again.

I traced their elegant beauty

draped along leaning branches

swept across rippling waves

and gently returned to the sandy shore.

Other times,

they delicately dance

in the waving sarong of wild grasses

across the prairie floor.

I think of this

while watching

chartreuse leaves

wisp along the creeping vines

that lace their way

across the trellised paths I seek.

They wave in the wind

they wave in the wind

and return

to wave in the wind once more.

At times like this,

I want to feel whole

the sum

of all my thoughts,

uncluttered.

Beneath the trees

filled with birdsong,

I want to sing

I want to capture the moments

strung between

the eaves of my heart and my soul

to carry their essence

upon my fingertips

and beneath my skin

and let its merry musing

lull my heart to dream.

 

© Sumyanna 2017

Posted in inspirational, Thinking Out Loud, Uncategorized

Sometimes We Need to Breathe Inspiration #4

I know it has been a while since I have shared any inspirational words… well you know, not in poetry form 🙂  Since starting school this year and trying to get notebooks, journals, and schedules together for the kids (especially the older girls)… I always go and find inspirational quotes for them to see when they open up their books to give them something to think about.

 

This year I not only did that, but decided to throw in covers of my own photography with inspiring lines.  I am a sucker for personal touches when giving gifts… so why not?  Anyway, I thought I’d share my creations with you and also another quote I have written today in light of the environment we live in these days.  I’m not going to give up on hoping for the best for humanity no matter what.

 

ILove

 

quoteb

 

AQuote

Posted in Free Verse Poetry, Inspirational Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Uncategorized, Woman's Poetry

Learning to Find Myself in the Silence, a poem

 

 

I have ridden

the sheltered sound of silence

draped myself

in the cloak of solace

washed my feet

in the shores

of thoughtful contemplation

and I have come into myself –

a little more.

I have come to find

my thoughts

a little less muddled

perhaps unpressured,

by the sands of time dripping

and the thoughtless dash

from one hurried task

to the next

I have rested my soul,

found new goals,

and polished others.

There is something

to be cherished

in the sound of one’s thoughts

often burdened by the noise

droned out

and drowning

where you no longer can afford

to tune yourself in

for life requires

that constant push forward

but we crave that silence still.

Or perhaps it is just me,

longing to be romanced

by that lilting tune

so I can contemplate the purpose

that rides beneath my veins

and I can adjust my sails

to bring me back home.

 

© Sumyanna 2017

 

Beautiful image taken in California.