Posted in Poems for Writers, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems, Woman's Poetry

My First Attempt at Writing, a poem

writing

I always wanted to be a writer, I think
way back to that time
that mother bought me a typewriter.
I was only six or seven,
but I wanted to write
and in my own precocious way
I pulled out a plain sheet of paper
slid it through the carriage
and wrote my first words
begging Mr. Smith
to allow my daughter
be excused from recess.
It was not a lie, I thought
but a story filled with not so truths
for I wanted to stay indoors
protected from the cold
huddled near the windows
watching the other children play.
It was not, that I
intended to do wrong,
but only that I realized
I had a voice –
even if Mr. Smith
and my parents
disapproved.

(c) Sumyanna 2017

Posted in On Writing, Thinking Out Loud

Learning to Step Out of My Comfort Zone (Because You Inspire Me)

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I just wanted to take a moment to say  THANK YOU.

 

For all of you who have followed my journey, shared a few steps, lifted me up when I was feeling down, sharing words of encouragement, sharing a little love – thank you.  I have been rather quiet (or at least quieter than normal) this past month and I feel I have you to blame 🙂

 

Even though I wrote as a teenager, I had stopped for well over twenty years.  Then, at least two years ago, I started writing again.  I started my first blog and it just didn’t fit right with me, but over time I had the courage to start another (this one) which I am just in love with.  A lot of it has to do with those of you who stop on by and share your stories with me as well as your kindness.

 

Your welcoming souls made me feel at home here. Not long ago, I would have never considered myself a writer, but it has been my passion. So I wrote and I shared and I grew. At some point, I finally grew comfortable with thinking I was a writer and I realized more than ever… it an essential part of who I am. I cannot even imagine that there was ever a point when my voice was silent, but I am grateful it is silent no more.

 

Now, I have not done anything monumental, but I did do something that is tremendously huge for me. I took the courage and prepared a book manuscript for the Emily Dickinson First Book Award. I submitted it on Saturday and won’t hear anything back until the end of April.

 

It is not that I am assured a win, but it is more about growing as a person to finally believe in yourself enough to try. I am seriously proud of my achievement and I have to admit it was one tough job because for some crazy reason I have written massive amounts of poetry in these last two years.

 

Essentially, the book is a collection of mostly Portaits Poetry interspersed with some of my other favorite poems (inspiration, nature, etc). I was able to bring the volume down to 73 poems that I hope are my best. If things don’t work out – I really do think I will (at some point) pursue getting it published, but that is definitely a thought for later.  I am way too pooped to think of it now!

 

Just wanted to thank you for being the wind beneath my wings in so many ways. You guys are just amazing and I could not be prouder to be in your company, considered a friend and a fellow poet.

 

Thank you,

Sumyanna

 

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge

Discover Challenge: Perhaps This is the Year for Change

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For The Daily Prompt Discover Challenge this week, we were asked to share that glowing ember of hope that makes you excited for 2017.  There are so many things I could have written about.  Whiles some may disagree, I feel that hope abounds.  However, this time I decided to make it personal.  See, I have been trying to reinvent myself (and have been for a long time).  I have hope that things will change in a good way, and that there is so much more growing I have yet to do.

 

For the longest time, my pen was never lifted – beyond needing to fill out forms at the doctor’s office, paperwork for school, or scribbled drawn-out math problems on sheets of recycled paper.  See, I wasn’t always a writer – or at least I hadn’t been for over 20 years.  I had seemingly lost my voice, or at least put it away somewhere without realizing it.  Flash back two years ago when I decided to say goodbye to someone we were sorely going to miss.  How would I do it appropriately?   I thought back to the recent poetry lessons I had done with my daughter and came to the conclusion that I would write a poem, but where to start?

 

Funny enough, it was rather easy to find the words and I’ll never know if the poem itself meant as much to our friends as it did for me writing them.  Yet somehow, this small act of thankfulness brings me here now and sometimes it seems like I never left.  I have come a long way, I think – and I seem less afraid.  I think in the beginning – like most of us, I was afraid, “would I be accepted?” or perhaps that familiar question, “is what I am writing even  worth being shared?”

 

I think I have grown because nowadays, I am not 100% percent certain of the answers to those questions, but I write anyway.  I guess that is the barrier we all have to overcome.  Now, I write mostly for the joy it brings me and yes, I am ever aware that there are people listening.  Truthfully, that is a blessing.  The point is, I guess – that I have come to a place where I am comfortable with myself and I am truly thankful for that growth.  Truthfully, had anyone told me I would find myself here, I would have said “no way!”

 

I guess each leg of this journey is a way for us to find ourselves, wherever we may be.  I have grown, I grow, and I will continue to strive to define myself every step of the way and I expect that someday I may find myself somewhere that I could never have foreseen.  That is the adventure of it all.

 

Lately, I have been looking in to trying to manage myself a little better.  Trying to write and be a mother who homeschools, cooks, and cleans, is never an easy task.  However, I have realized that I do need to dedicate some time in my schedule for things I want to pursue or else I run the risk of losing myself.  Aside from enjoying photography, writing is something I am really serious about and I want to stretch and grow this next year (whatever the heck that means) 🙂  Because, yes – I don’t always know exactly where on the map I want to land (at least yet).

 

I have hopes though, that I will find my way.  I have hopes that I will be able to make the time to dedicate myself to these tasks.  I have hopes that I will find myself on a somewhat different, or perhaps more defined path in the near future and I truly look forward to every single step that will take me there.  I find it a little scary – yes, but also quite exciting.  At this point, were you to ask – I could not detail the steps I will take or the path that will lead me to where I want to be.  However, I am thinking and slowly pondering who I am and who I want to be.  Not forever – mind you.  Just in the not so distant future.  When I get there – there will be other dreams to be laid.  Until then, I will just enjoy where I am and hope for what the future brings.

 

(c) Sumyanna 2016

 

Written for The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Hope Gone Viral

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

Other wonderful posts for this prompt:

The Most Amazing Caregiver

Hope and Kindness

City Living / Shared Space

 

 

 

 

Posted in Poems for Artists, Poems for Writers, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems

Unspoken Whispers

unspoken

 

There are moments
in life
when each breath
becomes difficult,
labored –
a painful exhale of emotion
and the roaring tide of tears
that never reach the eyes
but they rush through the soul
a tidal wave crashing
from the inside
over-spilling
and all you can do
is smile.
Life seems to carry on
and people carry on with it
tomorrow many will already forget
the newspaper headlines
and I know not why
I know not why
but sometimes,
it tears me up inside
for I am always the one
looking at everything
with a sideways glance
and delving at the soul
of everything
inspecting the pieces
and asking why,
and I know –
I know
that things could be better
but when you race against the tide –
you get knocked to your feet
for no matter how much
you strive to build peace
they always tear it down
from both sides.
That is where you hide,
in your sideways glances
wishing, hoping, praying
for them to see
there is a better way
to live than this.
This is where you hold your pain
in unspoken whispers
that dance across the page
and some days,
it seems
it is never enough
it is never enough.

(c) Sumyanna 2016

 

Beautiful image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Discover Challenge, inspirational, On Writing, Thinking Out Loud

Daily Post Discover Challenge: Learning to Mind the Gap

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It was approximately two years ago that I started writing again.  My children were moving to a new school and I wanted to say thank you to the school we were leaving behind.  I figured to send my thanks in the only way I knew how – a poem.  Even though I had stopped writing approximately 20 years prior, I picked up the pen and it felt familiar.  I could not say it is just like remembering to ride a bike – I was rusty, but still – my feelings came across and that was what mattered.

 

For some reason after that – I felt the urge to continue.  I don’t know exactly why, but I started my blog Butterfly Kisses Watermelon Wishes – mostly to share the poetry I had written for my children.  I really did not know what to expect and there was this wide chasm between where I was and what I hoped to accomplish.  Strangely, it was in writing prompts that I found my true voice.  In trying to find ways to bring more people to my blog, I started writing for prompts on a site that is no longer active.  I enjoyed these challenges more that I ever imagined – and I think what truly amazed me was that I could actually write.  I had never expected that.  Sad to think how long I had been silent, now that I look back on it.

 

I had never written much for prompts, except for a writing workshop I had been a part of in high school.  Otherwise, I thought the only reason for writing was to express my own feelings and struggles.  So, when life started turning around – I felt I had nothing to say.  Joining the writing world after so many years has taught me so very much, not only about my writing but also about myself.  I now know – that anything can be turned into a poem and the only thing that keeps us from doing so, is our own inability to see it as a possibility.  Strange to think that writing for a prompt could give you such a powerful lesson.

 

In the beginning, I wrote just for one word prompts.  They were okay – but again, I often fell into the trap of writing mostly what I knew.  I was blinded to other views for the most part.  However, as I started writing for 10 word prompt lists (and I must admit they were harder at first) but I finally started to realize that I had the ability to make stories out of my poetry.  I did not have to live them – but I could breath life into those words.  While part of me may be in all of my poetry, doing prompts expanded my view and allowed my writing to be more free.

 

A year ago or so, I had started to call myself a writer – and actually meant that.  Now, this – I must admit, is an accomplishment for me.  I had crossed a wide chasm of thinking I had no voice – to believing in myself.  You cannot imagine what a gift that has been.  When you falter, when you wonder if you are worth being heard – it is a blessing to know that all those feelings you hold in your heart, the impetus for much of your poetry means something to someone else.  I cannot explain it, but it is a blessing to be able to share my words with you.  Had I never picked up that pen a few years ago, I never would have known.

 

At some point last year, I wanted to post poetry with images – but I struggled because the images were not my own.  Again – I was burdened by another obstacle.  Minding the gap, I stepped across and invented my own type of poetry series “Portraits Poetry.”  What I wanted to accomplish was to interpret the image – and give a person a visual tour through the lines of my poetry.  I wanted to bring the painting alive.  Yeah, had I been a painter – perhaps I would have painted my own images, but that is definitely not in my skill set 🙂  Besides, that probably would have been easier.  Then, I decided not to share the image at all – in the hopes that the words would be enough to paint the image.

 

While this may not seem like much to some – this was another way for me to grow.  It took a lot of effort to bring the image alive and it caused me to focus on every little nuance and detail in the poem.  I also noticed, that when I started writing my own “life experience” poetry, I tended to be more expressive and descriptive.  Again – the writer that I am had been reborn.  For some that may be new to my name – I only started this blog recently in the hopes to rekindle my passion for writing and to take it in a new direction from my older blog.  I finally feel like I have found my voice and feel confident it matters to let my voice be heard.  For me, this is surely a sign of my growth in the past few years.  I hope many of you find it worthwhile as well 🙂

 

So, to me – I think life (and finding yourself as a writer) is a series of “minding those gaps” and finding ways to stretch, grow, and overcome.  I now feel that I walk around the world with my eyes that much wider, trying to soak it all in.  In essence, it is not only something that affects the writer I have become, but I think I walk in more appreciation for the world around me because of it.

 

What are those next gaps ahead?  I just don’t know yet, but I have faith that I will learn to adjust and grow to get past them.  It is a gift – those gaps, and I have hope that they will lead me somewhere wonderful.  I cannot help but hope that not only I have benefited from them, but others will benefit from them as well.  Mind that gap – you never know where it may take you.

 

(c) Sumyanna 2016

Written for The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Mind the Gap

Image courtesy of Morguefile (quicksandala)

 

Some other amazing posts for the Discover Challenge (I will update these as I find more):

When Death Happens, Life Has a Funny Way of Comforting

 

 

Posted in Inspirational Poems, Poetry, Thoughtful Poems

I found Myself, A Poem

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I was actually

Away at the time

Not on vacation,

But away –

Lacking in presence.

Life took me

In new directions

Its forceful pull

Dragging me to the sideline

Whispering in my ear

This is where you belong

No matter that your heart

Wants to be here

Or there

But this is where

Your presence

Is needed.

And at first,

I did not understand

The difference

Being away makes

Turning your ear

Toward the sounds you hear

Engaging the view,

Feeling what needs to be felt.

Yes, sometimes,

In absence –

We realize

What is important.

Like being away sometimes,

Is what we need

To be properly present.

It is a necessary

Unwinding of our thoughts

A realigning of the stars

And finally we find ourselves

Straightened on the path again

Aware and present

Being away, I found myself.

 

© Sumyanna 2016

 

Beautiful image courtesy of Morguefile (jackiebabe)

Posted in Inspirational Poems, Nature Poems, Poetry, Poetry Prompt Writing, Portrait Series Poetry, Thoughtful Poems

Portraits Poetry Series #22: The Beauty of Innocence

Portraits Series
There is beauty
in the innocence
of nature
beauty –
in the innocence
of the young
and all gets lost
in retrospect.
No longer unaware
of the ways of the world
we go on
indifferent to the beauty
of a summer’s day
unaware of the sounds
of life that creeps
within the shadows
of tall grasses
we lose ourselves
a missing puzzle piece
one among many
we lose
our belief in others
belief in ourselves
and we struggle
and thrash
against the very beauty
that we seek.
We refuse to see
open our eyes
we must learn to listen
to the songs of our own hearts
to believe –
to strive like fields of flowers
aching to reach toward the warmth of sun
and expect no less.
For innocence
in nature
and innocence
in a growing child
garners more wisdom
than unlaid dreams.

(c) Sumyanna 2016

 

Posted in Daily Post Prompt, Nature Poems, Poetry, Poetry Prompt Writing, Word Prompt

Graceful Birds and a Brontide Chorus, A Poem

Morning songbirds
Shuffled along the fences
Flying gracefully
from limb to limb of leaning trees
Stealing seeds from the feeder
While squirrels run in circles
Beneath the trees
Searching for seeds
The birds had scattered
A forgotten crumb
They’d steal then chase
Clawing at the bark of trees
You could hear them scatter
Only to return and chase again.
By noontime, the sound had ceased
The grass had cleared
The feeder empty
There was a stillness
Before the storm.
In the distance
You could spy flashes of light
Across the sky
Dark clouds hung low
And you could hear
the brontide chorus
quickly descending upon us
you could feel the chill
of cool rain splash against your cheek
and for a moment, you stand still
wafting in the scent of fresh rain
dazzling in the beautiful display
of nature’s might and beauty
but then you rush indoors
and watch the rain
behind the safety
of windowpane.

© Sumyanna 2016

Written for the word prompt “brontide” which means the low rumble of distant thunder.

 

Submitted for The Daily Prompt: graceful

Beautiful image courtesy of Morguefile (fanndango)